A quizmaster faces many challenges while presenting a King Trivia quiz. Earnest quizzers are always looking for an edge; an advantage; an opportunity to advance up the scoreboard. The stalwart quizmaster must therefore be ever-vigilant, unimpeachable, and focused on conducting the quiz in a fair and even-handed way.
But it's not always easy.
Take a look at the trio of innocent-looking women in the photo above. Those are The Blanches, an accomplished team of quizzers who have landed in the winner's circle many times in the past - and again last night!, when they finished in third place, along with Bad News Barristers (2nd) and My Couch Pulls Out, But I Don't (1st)!
Now you might think The Blanches would be happy with their win. But NO! They spent the entire game trying to improve their position (and their score) by telling the quizmaster that he is the nicest, kindest, most generous and funny quizmaster they've ever known, and then asking if there was any way they could go triple-or-nothing on certain rounds!
A quizmaster cannot be swayed by empty flattery and an enticing smile! Oh no! A quizmaster cannot falter, even with his favorite teams! Especially with his favorite teams. So NO!! No triple-or-nothing for YOU, Blanches! I am a quizmaster. and I am determined to maintain the highest standards of King Trivia and the integrity of the quiz!
Triple or nothing!? Phooey! You'll take your successful double and be happy with it!! HA!!
See ya next week.
That good-lookin' quartet of people pictured in photo #4 represents the brain trust calling itself Because Jeopardy Won't Let Us Drink, one of our most consistent and accomplished teams.
Despite their insistence on heavy drinking that was so out of control that Alex Trebeck himself had them removed from the Jeopardy TV studios, BJWLUD won the night this week at The Famous on Brand in Glendale.
They've been there before. Matt, Stephanie, Mike and Doug (and also Rory, who wasn't there last night - come back soon, Rory!) sat atop the leaderboard again (and for the umpteenth time) when the quizzing was done. It's no surprise that they're currently very high up in the Season 9 League Standings. They've been there before, and will no doubt find themselves in the heat of the competition when the Tournament of Champions takes place at the end of the year.
Ironically, Jeopardy may not have let 'em drink, but they also won the drinking round this week, so we can expect them to keep on quizzing, with King Trivia, right!?
See ya next week.
Take a look at photo #1 right over there. That trio is the brain trust behind this week's winning team, Bad News Barristers. Take a good look at that photo. Look deeply. Study it carefully, especially the two guys. That's Ritchie (the good-looking one) and Michael (the other good looking one). Look into their eyes. Do you see fear there? Yes. Yes, you do. Terror, really. And for good reason.
The third person in the picture; the one with the sweet-looking, "I wouldn't hurt a fly" look on her face? That's Devan. And believe me, she'd hurt a fly - or a guy - if she felt the need. Or just on a whim. Don't believe me? Well, perhaps the following conversation* will change your mind...
Ritchie, the good-looking...oh ALL RIGHT! He's the one on the left! Happy now? And Michael (in the middle, like Malcolm, duh) were already at The Famous on Brand in Glendale when Devan walked in. And, of course, Devan was all sweet smiles and "hi, how are you...oh, good to see you, too" to everyone in the room, as usual. And then she sat down with her teammates, lowered her voice so only they (and this quizmaster) could hear, and got that Linda-Blair-in-The-Exorcist look on her face and said...
"Okay, listen up! I am NOT walking out of here a loser again tonight! That third-place finish from last week, that is NOT gonna cut it tonight. Now YOU," she said, pointing at Ritchie, "had better come up with the right band names and characters from Greek mythology! And YOU," she said, turning her attention to Michael, "had better shape up tonight. I mean, you hardly contributed anything last week. I mean, you couldn't have contributed less if you weren't here!"
"But I wasn't here!" Michael replied.
"Don't you talk back to MEEE," Devan hissed! "Remember what happened in Albuquerque?
Michael trembled, and nodded his head. Whatever happened in Albuquerque, it must have been bad juju!
"Want that to happen again!?"
Silent, Michael just shook his head and looked down at the ground.
"And you!!" (back to Ritchie) "You love your grandmother, right? Of course you do. So let's win this thing tonight, and granny can keep on attending her bingo game every week without any more accidents. Sound good?"
They both nodded, and took another long pull from their drinks.
"Oh, good to see you TOO," Devan shouted to another contestant across the room. "Good luck tonight!" And then, quietly, under her breath..."loser..."
See y'all next week.
*all dialogue in this recap is entirely fictional, though Devan really is scary as hell!
